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Subject:My LJ has been neglected...
Time:01:36 am
[mood| happy ]
[music| Cascada - Every Time We Touch ]


Wow it has been wayyyyyy too long since my last update...

Well it's hard to believe that Bing is over and that everyone is off on their own tracks now but thankfully everyone has been good at keeping in touch...I've seen a few of the Bingers over the past few weeks and we've had a lot of fun...even my life parnter was able to make it up for one weekend and we had this-------------------------------------------------------------- much fun (clams casino bitches)...I always love hanging out at paddys and my house with the crew...

In other news I have a boyfriend now...his name is Adam and he is a really sweet, funny, down to earth guy...we've been dating about 2 months and I've met his family and friends, all of whom are very sweet...tomorrow I'm actually going to his family's house for Rosh Hashana dinner, I'm so excited! Anyways I'm very happy with him and it was totally worth a 3 year wait to find an amazing guy.

The family is also doing well, everyone has been good lately and it's nice to be home with them. I forgot how much I missed when I was away at school...even though I do miss living on my own it is nice to have my family around me during the day.

In terms of jobs and such I'm working at the dental office but I'm trying to find another job. I don't hate the office like I use to, in fact it's been really good there lately, but I just need to be making more money. I don't get so many hours and I need to make as much money as possible before I go back to school. I'm planning on finding another job (probably something part time at this rate) and applying for masters programs for fall 2007...I'm still debating between a masters in special ed and a masters in counseling so I've decided to apply to a few programs of each degree...I'm taking my GRE's on October 28th and applying so we'll see.

As far as Ireland goes, the job and the apartment didn't work out but that's ok...I'm going to go there in November to visit for like 2 weeks with my dad...it's for the better that I don't stay there for a prolonged period of time, there were just too many things to take into consideration...the job didn't work out, it was hard trying to find apartments and figure out the different areas, Dublin is a very expensive city and things started to settle here...my family and friends would miss me too much and vice versa, I met Adam, and I need to focus on my future. I love Ireland, it will always have a special place in my heart, but I've accepted that I can never live there permanently. I could never leave this behind and I've taken Ireland for what it was...it was a great experience that opened my eyes and helped me mature, an experience that changed my life...but it's not my life nor will it ever be. It helped me gain the perspective I needed and now I look back at it fondly instead of longing sadly for it. Today was the first time I looked at my Ireland pictures and didn't cry...I laughed and felt happy...I also felt thankful, thankful for such an experience and thankful for the appreciation it gave me towards everyone and everything at home and towards myself...I felt happy looking at those pics and happy that I've finally realized it's time to move on...that I will have new experiences, new things too look foward to, and new pics to put into my albums...I don't need to rely on the happiness I felt in the past, whether it be from Ireland or Bing, because its time to gain happiness from the great things I have now...Ireland is over but I will always think of it fondly.

Anyways I'm off to bed soon but I miss everyone and I hope everyone is doing well. I know it's a bit rough for everyone being away from each other and being in different places but I know we are all in each others hearts...and that's what matters most.
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Subject:Birthday bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time:02:12 pm
[mood| excited and happy!]
[music| The Romantics - What I like About You]

I'm so excited, today is my birthday and I am going to be eating and partying like an animal!!!! First stop is at Outback, then Ale House, and then who knows!!!! (Probably some sort of postgaming lol...wait why am I saying probably...I mean definitely!)

My parents and my sis are coming soon, I can't wait!

Hope everyone is having a good day and I hope you're all prepared for tonight =)
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Subject:Bern is a bum
Time:06:40 pm
[mood| lazy ]
[music| Sean Paul - We Be Burning ]

I slept until 5 today and now I am just sitting around doing nothing on my computer - what have I turned into?

This week was fun, Sunday was Maura's birthday brunch at Paddy's Loft and it was nice seeing the family again. Fra Nina and China Doll also came which was mad fun and we chilled at my house and went to Applebees for half off apppetizers and 2 for 1 drinks. The rest of this week consisted of chilling out and getting ready for svool. Last night I saw Alicia and Jason, which was also hella fun - we went to Fra Amichi's, the pool hall and Starfucks. The rest of the week I have work and packing to do but I am excited to go back to svool.

I'm bored so I did a survey:

(x) Slept all night in a bed with a person of the same sex who wasn't a relative
(x) Slept for more than 12 hours (I wouldn't be me if I didn't)
(x) Missed a week of school or more (when I had the flu in first grade)
( ) Put chapstick on more than 5 times in an hour
(x) kissed more than one person in a day.
( ) Eaten a worm (Ugh never)
(x) Jumped on a trampoline
( ) Ridden a unicycle
(x) Done something special for someone else
(x) Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant (does the Binghamton cafeteria count? Traying bitches!)
( ) Paid more than $50 for food at a fast food restaurant
( ) Got caught for cheating
( ) Brushed your teeth while on the phone
( ) Worked in fast food
(x) Written a poem
( ) Randomly called people out of a phone book.
( ) Been on a yacht
(x) Put bananas in your cheerios
(x) Lied to a friend to make them feel better
( ) Dated someone more than 2 years older/younger than you.
(x) Eaten frosting out of the original container
(x) Had a dream about a myspace friend
(x) Fallen in public (several times)
(x) Had your pants rip (although this is Ann's area of expertise)
(x) Recently had a PB&J sandwich
( ) Met your principal's parents
( ) Killed an animal
( ) Been prescribed to 3 or more medications by a doctor
( ) Wished you were an only child
(x) Been ashamed of a decision you made
(x) Worked for a family member
(x) Been told you were too young
(x) Kissed a friend, then their best friend
(x) Been to a High School Dance..
(x) Gotten away with a lie to your parents.
( ) Been dumped the night of a dance and left with out a date
( ) Gone out with a person one of your parents set you up with
( ) Hate to admit you are wrong.
(x) Ridden on a shopping cart at a store
( ) Break danced in a Mini Mart
( ) Went into a mini mart in socks
( ) Worn a tiara
(x) Been in a play
( ) Gone to church more than 4 times in a week
( ) Copied more than 30 CDs in a day
(x) Made a movie
( ) Dressed gothic
(x) Worn 5 or more layers of clothing (I live in Binghamton if I don't I'm a Bernsicle)
(x) Had a stalker (don't get me started on this one)
( ) Been to California
( ) Lived on a house boat
(x) Sat in a doctors office with a friend.
(x) Ran across 6 lanes of traffic
(x) Made fish lips
( ) Hit on a waitress/waiter
( ) Hit on a nurse
(x) Taken pictures with a stranger
(x) Stayed in a hotel room with 3 other school mates
(x) Made a public speech
(x) Been on cable television
( ) Put straws up your nose
( ) Choreographed a dance
(x) Felt used
(x) Made a smoothie or milkshake
(x) Had fun at work
(x) Watched Desperate Housewives (One of BSM's classics)
(x) Watched a movie so often you could quote every word. (You know me and my mob movies)
(x) Listened to an old NSYNC or Backstreet Boys CD more than once in a day after they were popular
(x) Kept something from a past relationship (letters, poems, flowers ect..)
(x) Given someone else flowers
(x) Taken a foreign language class
( ) Gotten to school at 6:15 in the morning
(x) Gotten an A in a class but all you ever did was mess around
(x) Laughed for no apparent reason (That's all I ever do)
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Subject:Svool on the break
Time:03:30 am
[mood| happy]


You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.



I realized today that I haven't updated in a while. As much as I miss Ireland it is nice to be home and I am more acclimated to everything. Christmas day turned out very nicely, saw a lot of the family and had some good laughs. I also saw a bunch of the Bing crew here and there. Jason and I saw Munich right after Christmas, which was good but a little intense. Then there was the big gathering at Tennesse Mountain where I shamelessly gorged myself on BBQ and amazing strawberry margaritas - I can almost still smell the tequila. I got to see the dumplings again and meet Katie's b/f as well as a chance to steal Christmas trees and ornaments in Little Italy. I finally got to go to Ferrara's, which had some of the best Italian desserts I have ever tasted, and then we headed over to this bar called Gatsby's. Elana's friend Sam knew the bartender there, who was coincidentally enough Irish. I told him about how I had just gotten back from Galway and he said it was his favorite city in Ireland and a hardcore booze town (of course I know this firsthand so I was in total agreement with him). Overal we had a nice night and I had so much fun seeing the gang again. I also went to the movies with Alicia a few nights later and caught up on old times. Then of course was New Years Eve at Nikki's, which was a crazy amount of fun and non stop laughing, followed by a visit from Wahida a few days later where we caught up and had more of our crazy random adventures. I really missed you guys so much, I am so glad to be back home with you again and so glad to be back in this country. I can't wait for another amazing semester at Bing, we have to make this one he best ever!

Well now I am off to chill with Fra Nina and tricky Nikki and then Sunday is the big dinner for Maura's birthday. Hope everyone is well, enjoy the rest of the break!
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Subject:Just for clarification...
Time:04:14 pm
[mood| drained ]



I found out today that my room was reassigned for the spring semester and I'm not going to be living in Rockland 204 anymore, I'll be in Nyack 106 instead. I'm really disappointed but at least I have a single. I'm just so tired, stressed, and drained right now that I just want to get this final over with and sleep. Between everything going on now I'm so torn apart and I haven't felt this depressed in a long time.
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Subject:Realizations
Time:02:35 am
[mood| grateful]
[music| The Who - Teenage Wasteland ]

This week has been so emotionally and physically exhausting...Sara left thursday morning and Krystel left thursday night so we've been partying it up as much as we can. Wednesay night M, Sara and I had a really nice, intimate dinner at this amazing place in City Centre. We laughed and reminisced about all the good times of the semester, took pics and chilled. Afterwards we met Christine and Krystel at the Glen Oaks for a pint and then relaxed at the apartment. We watched some of the old videos we took (oh man are they hysterical lol...you guys are going to piss your pants when I show you the tape M sends me) and sat around until we were too tired. We went to bed and then Sara woke us up in the morning to say goodbye. I have all her info and we are planning to meet up in NY in a year or two for a big reunion and then Greece in 2010! It was so sad to see her go and it's been so much quieter in the apartment but I know I will se her again and that I will keep in contact - and M is still here so we will have a blast with the rest of the time here.

Thursday night a bunch of us went out to dinner to see Krystel off and then for a few pints...it was mad fun and we got some good pics. We went to the bus stop with her and it was so sad to see her go...but she is coming to NY in May so I am really excited!

As emotionally draining as this week has been I have been trying to make the best of it and balance the partying with the studying. I'm really happy now because my dad is visiting, he just arrived today. We're going out to dinner for the next few nights and basically just enjoying Galway (and of course the pubs =)). It's so good to see him again, it's nice to see a familiar face during such an emotional time.

Other than that I've basically been getting ready for exams and enjoying the rest of my time here. As sad as I am to leave Galway I am so thankful for the experiences I've had here and for the people I've met. As hard as it is that we wont all be together again for a while I will stay in contact with everyone and I have decided that I am going to come back to Ireland - I'm looking into getting my degree here or maybe working temporarily. All I know is that I love Ireland and that I have not seen the last of it.

I'm also mad excited to come home and see everyone. I miss my family and friends so much and it will be so good to see them after all this time - and it will also be really nice to be home for the holidays.

I've realized so many things on this trip but one thing has stood out amongst them all - I am responsible for my own happiness and I don't need to look to anything outside of myself to feel complete. I know that sounds so cheesy and cliche but Ireland has really made me realize how much I have and how capable of a person I am. I really feel like I've changed, that Ireland has changed my life in a way that I never thought it could be changed. I realize now that I have so many good people in my life and that it is possible to be truly happy. I have such a more positive outlook about life and most importantly about myself. I've realized that I've held myself back all this time, that I've been too hard on myself and that I've lived in regret and anger. I know now that there is so much more too life than insecurity and negative past experiences and I am so glad that this trip opened my eyes to so many things.

Well I'm going to go, good luck on finals and papers everyone! I can't wait to see you all in 10 days!
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Subject:Caffeinated like crazy and excited!!!!!!!
Time:12:30 am
[mood| excited]
[music| Billy Joel - Uptown Girl]

As sad as I am this week about everyone leaving and saying goodbye I'm excited to come home. It will be nice to see my family and everyone again and I found out that I have a single room in Rockland 204 - quite convenient! All I can say is be prepared 304 b/c it is going to be BERN 24/7 SPRING SEMESTER BITCHES!!!!!! Between 304 and Wahida's apartment I am never going to be in my own next semester lol.

I have a final tomorrow and I am nervous but I'm going to go over the rest of my notes tonight and then I am gonig to bed. I'm excited about my dad visiting on friday too, it's going to be crazy fun!

Well it's nice to have a cheerful break from the sadness of the past few weeks - granted I still have 2 more weeks to go but I am glad to be excited like this.

Good luck on exams/papers everyone!
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Subject:London bitches
Time:08:02 pm
[mood| happy]


Well now it's time for my happy entry about London. It really was an amazing experience and I plan on going back there sometime before I go back to the states.

Well despite all the stress and uncertainty I arrived to the hostel in London at about 3 p.m. on thursday. I was pretty impressed by it, it had security cameras all over the place and you couldn't get in unless you had a key or they buzzed you in. The hostel was about 3 blocks from Victoria station and a 10 minute walk from Buckingham Palace so it was a pretty safe neighborhood. The staff at the hostel was also very friendly and from all over the world, which I really liked. Well I got into my room and got settled after the long day. The room was very nice - everything was clean, the matresses and pillows were full and comfortable, we had our own coat closet, locking drawers, cubbies, and a sink and vanity, and they even painted the rooms with different colors/icons to make them look more homey. I was in a room with 5 other girls and they were so nice! I first met one name Joe from Australia, she was staying in London and trying to find a nursing job around the city. We chatted for a while the first night and we also went to the palace and the westminster cathedral. We came back to the room and met our other roomates, who were also really nice.

The next day Joe and I walked around the city more and we also met 2 girls who were switching into our room that day. Their names were Michelle and Melissa and they came over from Canada to look for teaching jobs in London. They were really nice and we chatted with them for a while until Laura came (ugh). Part of my wish she had never came, I had such a better time without her! Anyways she came and then we walked around a really posh area of London where all the embassies are. We ended up a Hyde Park and then we went to dinner by Victoria Station. I had a few glasses of wine and was pretty tipsy by the time we got back to hostel. Laura started looking up bars and clubs we could go to and I went downstairs for a minute with Joe to get a drink, telling Laura I'd be back shortly. I know this is really mean but when Joe and I were down there we ran into Melissa, Michelle and some of the guys from the group and they told us to come out with us. I said that my friend was upstairs but they were like forget her come out with us! So I did lol. I know it was kind of mean, but not only did she totally abandon me on the trip without even so much as a phone call to let me know she was okay but she also acted like an obnoxious bitch as soon as she got to the hostel and made some really inappropriate comments. So I was just like fuck it. We went to Trafalgar Square to hit up the bars and the clubs - they were even filming a movie there so we couldn't get to part of the square. They were doing a stunt shot and we asked if we could be extras but they said no lol. After that we went to a club and drank/danced the night away. I left the hostel at 8 p.m. and didn't get back until 4 a.m. lol.

The next day we slept in a little bit and then we started to make way for the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace. Joe and I saw part of it but we lost Laura in the square so we just did our own thing. I went on a bus tour of the city and saw parts of Notting Hill, Hyde Park, Kensington Palace, Harrods (the famous department store which is the British equivalent to Saks Fifth Avenue), little America and Picadilly Circus. I walked around for a bit and then I went to Her Majesty's Theater and saw the Phantom of the Opera - it was absolutely amazing. The performance was magnificent and the theater was gorgeous. After that I went back to the hostel and went to bed shortly because I was really tired from walking around all day.

The next day we had to leave unfortunately so we got up to pack and check out. I said goodbye to Michelle and Melissa and gave them my contact number. They are such awesome girls and they made my stay in London very enjoyable! I missed seeing Joe though, she wasn't at the hostel when I left =(. I gave Michelle and Melissa my info to give to her though so hopefully that wont be the last I see of her.

Laura and I took the train to Heathrow airport, flew to Shannon, and then took the bus from Shannon to Galway. I didn't get home too late which was good b/c it let me unpack and unwind a little. Overall I had an awesome weekend and I am definitely going back to London. It is one of the most amazing cities I have ever seen.
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Subject:Society sucks
Time:10:46 pm
[mood| sad]
[music| Blink 182 - Adam's Song]



I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.
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Subject:Good times
Time:04:15 pm
[mood| happy]
[music| Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx - Gold Digger]


Despite the mild drama, these past two weeks have been a lot of fun. Last weekend Meera's sister Tasha and her friend visited from Spain and it was mad fun. We went out to a bunch of the pubs and clubs and had a blast. Afterwards we all chilled in our apartment and by this point everyone was belligerently drunk. Meera filmed me doing my drunk version of Feliz Navidad and filmed Philip doing his spasm dance (which she is sending me asap b/c it is beyond hilarious). Well I was really drunk this ngiht and I accidently knocked over a glass on the balcony and it fell and shattered onto the village sidewalk. The guard came over and was pissed off but Eoin went out and talked to him and he said that he wouldn't file a report if we cleaned it up. I was too trashed so Eoin and Krystel went and swept up the glass - I owe them big time. We had a lot of fun that night, as we do with almost all crazy drunken nights. I wrote about this night before on here but it was that same night when I was trashed so I'd figure I'd give you guys the hungover but coherent version.

This week passed by really quickly and then my dad came to visit on friday. Friday night he was really tired so we just chilled and ate dinner at the hotel. He got me a digital camera, all the food for the Thanksgiving dinner we are having, an awesome set of tequila samples from when he went to Mexico, clothes and other things I had left at home, and he is letting me use his new lap top for the rest of my semester here!

Saturday we went to the Aran Islands, which were beautiful as usual. This time though I was smart and made sure there were bus tours available (as much fun as the bikes were, I was ready to collapse at the end of the day). The bus took us into the island where my dad and I had fresh vegetable soup and brown bread at this cute cottage restuarant - we also got more of those millionaire squares that M loves (they're basically home made twix squares and they're fucking amazing).Then I finally got a chance to see Dun Aengus, this really cool ring fort at the top of the cliffs on the island. It was unbelievable - especially the view we had of the water and the rest of the island. After that we went to the seven churches, a medieval abbey. We also went to the end of the island and saw some of the other beaches. The Aran Islands are so peaceful and so beautiful that sometimes I think about moving there - it's a bit remote though and considering the fact that like 90% of the population only speaks Irish and the electricity doesn't always run I think it might be a no go lol.

After the Aran Islands we were really tired so we went to the Spudhouse for dinner and then I passed out. The next day I showed my dad around City Centre and we had lunch at this cool home made pizza cafe. Then we met up with Christine, Krystel, Sara and Christine's bf and went pub crawling - it was a lot of fun.

Monday I met my dad after class and we had dinner at McNamaras, this really good restaurant that serves traditional Irish food. Then we met M at the pubs and hung out for a bit. We also went to this other pub where a band was playing traditional Irish music. I think I enjoyed that pub the most b/c while the others are a lot of fun this one had a more traditional Irish feel.

This morning I met my dad for breakfast and then sadly he left. It was really nice having family visit and having that comfort from home. I do love it here but there are days when I feel a little homesick.

These past two weeekend were a blast and then this weekend I am going with Laura to London - I'm so excited! In fact I'm leaving in two days, we're staying from thursday to sunday. I really have to start researching for my two midterm papers though b/c the due dates are coming up shortly. After I come back from London I really have to get hardcore about work before I can party again.

I'm so happy here, words really can't describe it. Honestly my version of a perfect world would be to bring everyone I know over from the US and have them live here. I know it sounds cheesy and you guys know I'm not usually an emo type of person but sometime I'm so happy here I want to cry. The people here are so wonderful, Galway/Ireland is absolutely beautiful, and I have made so many awesome friends. I'm really glad that I decided to study abroad.
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[icon] The world according to Bern
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